Because step number 2 — forgiveness — is so powerful, you have had a little longer to perfect that one. Truly it is something you should do each night to clear your mind and spirit of all the hurts, frustrations and disappointments you have collected throughout your day. This allows you the freedom to move forward without a piece of you forcibly hanging onto the past.
Now that you have had more than a week of affirming “I am success,” you are ready to take a quantum leap forward with this week’s key: FORGIVENESS.
So often you go through life collecting hurts, disappointments, and resentments, putting others through constant tests and trials (unbeknownst to them) and storing their failing results in the back of your mind, only to be accessed at a later time (usually while updating their file with any new failed test results!). To add insult to injury, you soon run out of space in your mind, so your body begins to store that pain, anger, sadness, and UNFORGIVENESS in various parts of your body. Did you realize that?
The Manipulation Detector
A sure-fire way to determine whether someone is trying to manipulate you is to say “no” to his or her request. For some odd reason manipulators seem to have developed a defect that causes some sort of disconnect between their ears and brain when it comes to understanding what you meant when you said “no. ” This causes them to act as though you not only never said the word “no,” but also were merely clearing your throat or perhaps asking them to repeat their request!
Of course, this is different from the type of requests you may receive from small children or teenagers who are trying to get their way. You see, when you say “no” to either children or teenagers, you will get an immediate reaction to let you know that they did in fact hear your “no” before they put in their counterargument (typically some sort of begging).
In contrast, manipulators will ignore the fact that you even said “no” and attempt to proceed with their agenda, which is most likely not in your best interest. In the beginning this may seem harmless but it is a rocky foundation on which to build a relationship (friendship, family, or romantic). Eventually it will lead to discord because one person is so concerned with him or herself that he or she will learn to only be content in the relationship when you, too, are only concerned about him or her…or at least 99% of the time. And knowing this, should you even be surprised when you find that when you need his or her time, attention, resources or whatever, he or she is conveniently unavailable or too busy to help with your request?
Relationships are a wonderful means of encouragement, growth and support in life and should be enjoyable for both parties. Honor your spirit and say “no” when you really mean to say “no,” and bring the manipulation to the other person’s attention if the relationship is important enough to you or limit your time and interaction with that person if it is not. Either way, your life will improve immensely when you stop warring against your spirit by trying to force yourself to focus entirely upon meeting the needs of another person to the detriment of your own needs. You are valuable. You are worthy. And you deserve the God-given right to say “no” and have it heard and respected.
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What does success mean to you? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How excited are you when you close your eyes and visualize yourself basking in all the success you could ever imagine…and more?
No one ever achieved success without a plan, do you have one? The first step is to discover the true key to success and when you do, it will be relatively easy to create an action plan to move you closer to the life you deserve.
Recently, it finally clicked for me that I needed to put more stringent restrictions on whom I allow to speak into my life, and I invite you to do the same.
Since the beginning of 2008, I have been reading one chapter from the book of Psalms each morning, and I highly recommend it as a solid way to start your day. And as I progressed through the first division of Psalms, my mind kept drifting back to Psalm 1:1 – “BLESSED is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor standeth in the way of sinners, Nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” (King James version)